Relationship question! + Madeleine McCann | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday 8 September 2007

Relationship question! + Madeleine McCann

If your husband of over 12 years, father of your four children, tells you he wants to marry another woman, what would you do?

There's a woman presently in this situation who needs your advise...she's an avid reader of this blog, and is waiting for your comments... please tell her what to do.


BTW, how many people are as shocked as I am that Madeleine McCann's mum is the prime suspect in her disappearance? Are these guys serious really?
I know people do weird stuff and there have been several incidents of people killing members of their family for whatever twisted reason, but I just don't think this woman, Kate McCann, did it...why the hell is she a suspect by the way? Anyone know?

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

The woman needs to do some serious fasting and prayer.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Kate McCann - we understand blood was found in a car hired by by the McCanns 25 days after Maddy's dissapearance which is total crap in my humble opinion! It is fair to say the police have no clue what they are doing regarding this case because if they did, they would not have offerred a sicko deal as the UK papers have reported today. Imagine them offerring her a deal - confess you killed her and be out in a year?
Like she does not have enough on her plate with the twins to look after! For the people who truly and genuinely feel for this family, I say please continue to pray and support them. My instincts tell me all is well and the nightmare will come to end soon in God's name! AMEN.

Waffarian said...

@glory: what kind of advice is that?

What I would do? I guess it would be time to move on, but that's me, I believe in the sanctity of marraige, was raised a catholic and I am too selfish to want to share my man but I have friends that have told me they would not mind being second wives as they are muslims and have been brought up in polygamous homes.

My advice would be for her to be true to who she is and what she believes in. Forget about society and its bullshit, at the end of the day its her happiness and peace of mind that matters.

Anonymous said...

what will serious fasting and prayer do,i dont mean to be cynical...
are they married under church law-dont know of nay church that allows a man to marry more than one wife, its one wife baby and adultery is still a sin... ar they married under civil(court)law? monogamy is the rule-its prety clear...perhaps she's married to a muslim?
we dont have enough background on the matter but if she really wants peace of mind, she should tell homeboy that he cant be married o her and someone else so its better he divorces her and marries the other woman...at the point where the guy tells you this, you know things are already messed up...its not by force to married an stsy in the house that lailai, she should start thinking of an exit plan i.e how to ENSURE HE CONTINUES TO tkae care of the kids,school fees etc, who gets the house,cars,if she's leaving what to take with her...she can beg him sure,get family involved sure, but the guy has disrespected her bigtime and the other woman is pushing him so it may not make a diff...get a lawyer and be prepared for war...on the bright side, you know you'll make it thru this one way or another

kelly O. said...

this is bullshit... i dont believe kate killed her kid. this is madness on the side of the Spanish authorites or are they trying to look busy or what. no woman whom ever went through the all the painful stages of IVF, will later go back and kill that same child!

Anonymous said...

I have to say dis McCann case has been one of d most bizarre cases i've ever heard of in my adulthood. How can a 4 yr old child just disappear like dat without any trace? D portuguese police have been so inexperienced in d way they handled d case from d beginning.

Anonymous said...

Wow!! The things we women have to go thru sometimes! I mean what if she was the one the woke up in the morning and told her husband she wanted to be with another man! Obviously she really needs to pray and fast hard because since her husband's mind is already set on marrying another woman, It going to take the power and strength of God to deter him from that path. It is so sad that we cannot be content with our spouses. It is so sad that Nigerian men because the law and the culture is on their side feel that it is the right to embark on the journey of polygamy. I really do feel sorry for her because I understand her pain. When most people decide to get married they do that thinking this is it, it is me and my husband and our kids, not me, my husband, children, his second wife and her kids. She needs to search herself and figure out if she is not satisfying him in all ways as a woman should her man and if she is which I am sure she is and he is just seeking to make a mess of their lives then she needs to commit this in God's hands.

Nonesuch said...

I would calmly ask him why he seeks to take a 2nd wife. if his reason are 'justified' which i doubt. Then he will have him sign a legal document saying he will be responsible for such and such as i think necessary and let him know i'm ready to take legal action to make him accountable to all he has signed.He is then free to go ahead really. I would rather he marries a 2nd wife than have a string of all this 'escort services' girls that roam the street of Lagos.

Nonesuch said...

The McCann story is stranger than fiction. anything is possibel so lets wait and see the unfolding drama. But if Kate is guilty why do through all that wahala?

Anonymous said...

the law is not on any man's side oo when it comes to marrying more than one wife....its clear in b&w...as for implementation, that one fit hard small...but the law even in naija does not allow that..when it gets to it to sef, culture no dey allow am unless say you be muslim, shey one man go marry woman yalk se in wan marry another one and her folks will aloow- anyway maybe i'm talking of normal people sha...

An-Igbo-Dude said...

arghh!!
thats problem ooo
she should commit her husband to Gods Hand
it might no tbe ordinary, maybe juju is involved
my uncle married a second wife after 17years of marriage.the woman(who i understand was a prostitute b4 wedding) jazzed him up and he was doing whatever the lady told him to. he was finally delivered after putting his family through another 6 years of misery

Unknown said...

-to the woman with an idiot husband.

Fast and pray is a good start, a necessary step actually, sometimes the devil worries people's head and dicks so you have to deal with it spiritually.

Also I suggest for the physical aspects of this problem:

1. Reinforcing your relationships with your in laws
2. Seeking the counsel of a good divorce lawyer
3. Getting your name on all the communal assets and individual assets too. Get your own private bank account, and start storing up if you haven't done so already
4. Get independent


Don't forget to take care of yourself and your children first and foremost. This is not the time for lamenting and feeling sorry for yourself, that's when you start losing the battle. Be prepared for the war ahead of you. In case you have to leave the household, make sure you're leaving financially settled.

RE: Madeline McCann, personally I've always thought something was wrong with the parents from the get go, because why would you leave your children unattended when there were babysitting services available to you at your resort? Plus as soon as they were announced as suspects they decided to leave Portugal when they vowed to stay there until Maddy was found. I really hope they did nothing to their child, but I can't help but wonder what gives

Anonymous said...

to the lady with the husband that wishes to leave her for another: if you are in lagos, try and get to speak with pastor taiwo odukoya (the fountain of life church, ilupeju). Give him some more details of your situation so he better understands your plight and is better equipped to give you counsel. I find that he is a God fearing and mature man who has age/experience on his side and who will not sugar-coat things you need to hear.
it would be hard for anyone here (on this site)to give you good advice/counsel since we do not know the peculiarities of your plight.
best wishes

Iyaeto said...

I don't know for these people o. Why would anyone leave kids under 5 alone in a holiday villa na d go and wine and dine. That is another question to answer.I read it somewhere that the mother is not "mentally balance". i also read somewhere that it is possible that she overdosed the poor girl. All sorts of theories.only God knows what happened in that villa.As for me, I'll never leave my kids home lone all in the name of spending "quality time" with my hubby. Moreso, the kids have grandparent who could have taken care of the kids while they were away on holidays.But I feel sorry for them sha.

Anonymous said...

Linda,

I hope the woman sees my comments. Please tell her to be of good behaviour to her husband and she should go to MOUNTAIN OF FIRE AND MIRACLES CHURCH (any branch)to see the pastor and she should go through a prayer and fasting that is done weekly.

she will surely testify

OR SHE CAN GO TO PRAYER CITY ON A FRIDAY MORNING, THERE IS A PROGRAM FROM 8 A.M TO 12 NOON

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why people are mentioning different pastors' names here as if there is some sort of competition going on about which pastor is meant to be more "powerful". Perhaps the woman should do timbo timbo (cast lots in Calabar language) and pick whichever pastor it lands on?!
People tend to forget that pastors are also human beings and are mere messengers of God. I'm not saying that you can't ask your pastor for advise/direction; of course you can, as they are your teachers of the word. By all means, respect and honour them also as your pastors, but it's JESUS that you should worship- not pastor/daddy whoever.
God has already said that not everyone who calls him Lord Lord shall enter Heaven, so it's best to be careful. No pastor shall answer your questions for you on that day; you can't ride on their backs either to enter Heaven; it's every man for himself.
I've noticed that many people tend to "worship" their pastors instead of Jesus and it infuriates me. It's always go to Daddy this person or Daddy that person. What about Daddy Jesus? Your pastor is only going to ask the same Jesus who has told you that if you ask God, His Father, anything in His (Jesus) name and believe that He'd do it, God would do it and you'd have abundant joy (John 16:23-24; Mark 11:24).
Moving on...about this lady, i'm at odds as to what advice to give her. As a fellow married woman, i can't advice another woman to leave her husband's house. The decision has to be hers ultimately.
Having said that however, if my husband got up one day and told me clearly that he no longer loved me and wanted to marry another woman (whether he's been jazzed or not), as much as it'd hurt me to do so, i'd quietly go cos i wouldn't want to stay in a loveless marriage where my husband would be resenting me. This is just me cos i don't have the power to be fighting with another woman over my own husband; she can have him instead.
I know that there are women that would fast and pray, especially if they believe that the man has been jazzed. That's also good, cos it's good to believe and have faith. I'm only being honest about myself cos i'm not sure i'd have the strength to go through all that. Even if i fast and pray and have faith initially, i'd finally be too weary to continue if the "jazzing" or whatever is happening to the man is taking too long. Not because i don't have faith in God, but because i just can't take the stress. I may be wrong, but this is just me being honest. May God give her the wisdom to make the right decision.
About Madeleine, the truth shall surely prevail. I'm not casting rocks yet, but i'm watching the events as they slowly unfold. God would definitely reveal the truth about what really happened.

Unknown said...

How can a mother kill her own child!

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